Pet Peeves

Am I the only one who ever really says exactly what is on their mind? One of my pet peeves is people who try to interpret what I say. Having lived in many cultures, I suppose I should clarify that. I do not mean in a linguistic sense. I do not mean translating from one language to another. I mean people who cannot understand that quite simply, I say what I mean and I mean what I say.

I know that with many people, even among native English speakers, I can be irritating. If you ever want to really bother someone, very simply answer the questions that people ask on a regular basis. Do not assume they mean one thing or are trying to say something other than what they say, but rather listen to what they say and answer that question in particular.

Examples:

· Q1: Do you know what time it is?

· Q2: Can you tell me what time it is?

The first question is asked of millions of people on a regular basis. It seems to be a very simple question, and it really is. The only thing is that it is the wrong question to ask. When someone asks me if I know what time it is, I look at my watch, and after finding out the correct time I answer their question.

· A1: Yes I do!

They will frequently look at me as if I am stupid and uncomprehending. I ask though, what have I done that is wrong or incorrect? I have answered the question they asked didn’t I? Why is it my fault if they did not ask the correct question? I submit to you that they are in error for failing to be able to ask the question that they want answered. Now let us look at the word “Can

If someone asks me, “Can you tell me what time it is?” I will answer their question as they asked it. If I have a means of finding out the correct time, or if I happen to already know what time it is at the moment, I will answer in the affirmative. Thus, my answer would be;

· A2 “Yes, I can tell you what time it is.”

At that point, I am done. I have answered the question that they asked. Once again, I do not believe that I have done anything wrong. They asked me whether I had the ability to tell them the correct time. Once again, they will most often look at me as if I am stupid. Once again, I have to question why I should be considered rude for answering the question that they have asked. They did not ask me to tell them what time it was, so I did not.

Mind you, when I am living in a foreign land, I understand that not everyone is going to speak with the clarity and understanding of the English language, which I possess, so I do not do that in other countries. My complaint here is of a similar nature though.

I had a bad night last night, so I was in a particularly gruff mood this morning. I have a nail hole in the bottom of my right foot and three massive blisters on it from having to walk in such an awkward manner. Truth be told, I really have been sick for roughly half the time since I have been back in the Philippines . My business partner is fully aware that I wish to live here and make a home here with her.

I stepped on a particularly rough section of ground and smacked the nail hole. It hurt to be quite blunt. I uttered an expletive, which I should not have done, and I am trying to quit, but it slipped out because of the pain. When she said something about it, which she did indeed have every right to do as she finds it particularly offensive, with good reason as well, I informed her that I have been sick about half the time since I have come back home. I told her that I just wanted to be well again.

Seizing the opportunity to interpret the meaning of my words rather than listening to what I said, she went into a tirade about how I do not wish to live here and I am traveling half way around the world for who knows whatever reason. There was no explanation for why I would be here if I did not want to be. There was no logical reasoning about the fact that I am here and not somewhere else and nobody is forcing me to stay. There was only a vast questioning of any dark and hidden meanings behind my words that I may have been wanting to say but did not.

It really is very simple; I say what I mean and I mean what I say. There is never any hidden agenda, there is never any underlying message, I only say what I mean to say. I do not know why that is so difficult for people to understand. I have a great family here. They have never been anything other than fully supportive and have gone out of their way to accommodate me where there are factors I may not know or need to consider.

If I had any desire to live elsewhere, I would be living there. If I had meant to say something else, I would have said something else. I fail to understand how that is such a difficult concept to grasp. I love it here, and quite honestly, if I never had to leave I would be quite happy.

If you think I am over reacting, try this little experiment with people around you. You will be surprised how many people get upset when you answer the questions they ask. Conversely, if you are not getting the answers you want, try changing the questions you are asking. Look at them and make sure you are really asking for exactly what it is that you want. If you expect people to make assumptions, than they will. Say what you mean and mean what you say. It really is very simple.